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  • The Self Esteem Trap

    Guest Post By: Rory Vaden

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    Results are important, but you are not your results.

    And there is a great risk in attaching your self-esteem to your results.

    The risk is that if you allow your self-esteem to be determined by the results you are experiencing, then it will always be volatile as it fluctuates with the inevitable ups and downs of life.

    It becomes a self-esteem trap because when results are coming in, you feel great about yourself. But when they are not, you feel terrible.

    Ultras performers don’t want that. They are much more interested in consistency. And they have the perspective of knowing there are good days and challenging days.

    Instead of allowing their confidence to ebb and flow, they have developed a different strategy than most people.

    They put their self-esteem into their work habits rather than their production.

    They derive their confidence from focusing on things they can control rather than the things they can’t.

    Results in most walks of life are things that we can influence, but they often aren’t things that are fully in our control.

    It’s not solely in our control as to who wins and who loses, who buys and who doesn’t, how certain things are valued, or the exact financial balance that is left at the end.

    You don’t want to have extreme highs and lows. You want steady, consistent, positive direction.

    In addition to volatility, the other weakness of having self-esteem tied to results is it causes us to under perform.

    Because when results are poor we often feel undeservedly bad. And it affects the confidence by which we work and thereby lowers the effectiveness of our work and the likelihood we will produce positive results.

    Similarly, when results are pouring in and we are “winning” we also need to be careful about feeling uncharacteristically proud of ourselves. Positive results can be a source of complacency for someone who has their self-esteem tied to their performance. Not to mention that sometimes results come in by way of luck, circumstance, or positive changes in the market rather than by way of our own efforts.

    The best baseline then is to put your self-esteem into your work habits rather than your results.

    You want to be a person who lays it all out on the line every day.

    You do your dead level best regardless of whether or not the results are coming in.

    You are consistently and dogmatically focused on doing what you know how to do and controlling what you can control.

    You know that the challenging days are just a part of the journey to great performance and that the great days are fleeting and that they both come and go.

    But you have faith, and trust, and confidence that if you do your best, and you focus on simply putting in the work over and over each day, then over time you will win.

     

    Self-Discipline Strategist Rory Vaden’s book Take the Stairs is a #1 Wall St Journal, #1 USA Today, and #2 New York Times bestseller. As an award-winning entrepreneur and business leader, Rory Co-Founded Southwestern Consulting™, a multi-million dollar global consulting practice that helps clients in more than 27 countries drive educated decisions with relevant data.  Additionally, as the founder of the Center for the Study of Self-Discipline (CSSD), his insights on improving self-discipline, overcoming procrastination and enhancing productivity have been featured on Fox and Friends, Oprah radio, CNN and in Fast Company, Forbes, Inc and Success Magazine. 


  • How an Abundance Mentality Can Improve Your Day

    Guest Post By: Dave Brown

    Do you ever get to a place where you think you do not have enough? It could be territory, people to call on, anything, you just feel like you need more. This mentality can ruin you from the inside out. Your prospecting cannot be one with a scarcity mentality.

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    If you are wondering how to turn this around, I have something for you. Switch on over to the ABUNDANCE mentality. Think of all the people who have not heard from you. When you sit down, ready to pick up the phone, and you think you don’t have enough people to call, I guarantee there are more people you haven’t contacted than you have on that ‘to call list.’

    So many get caught up in the scraps on the table, that they forget about the feast that is before them. There is possibility, and so much more to go around. It’s important to see the potential.

    When you have the abundance mentality while prospecting, you are thinking there are so many people out there, so much opportunity, you can talk to anyone, and the world is at your finger tips. Things will start flowing, and you will have an unlimited supply of prospects and people to call.

    This limited belief that comes from scarcity cannot hold you back from helping others any longer. Allow yourself to get even farther with your business by believing in the abundance of what you’re set out to do. If you can think with everything you have, that you have plenty, or even more than you need, things will change, and you’ll do so much each day.

    Think each day how many people are out there and how many you can reach. See life in a more long term perspective and the abundance you have. Go out there and reach more people needing your service or product!

    Dave Brown is a senior partner and executive level coach at Southwestern Consulting and author of the upcoming book Painless Prospecting. Dave was a record breaking salesman for Southwestern Advantage, knocking on over 50,000 doors before the age of 25. He has spoken and trained over 100,000 sales professionals across the globe with Southwestern Consulting.