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  • Category Archives Self-Discipline
  • How Bad Do You Want It?

    Guest Post By: Jay Wang

    Some want it badly, whatever “it” may be for them, success, a goal or a win. Some don’t. Others say they do but can’t seem to make things happen.

    Why is it that some people do and some people don’t? I do know, it just seems to work that way. A better question, however, might be what does it look like to want it more?

    Here’s some insight. My good friend, mentor and role model Rick Takahashi is constantly asking me and those he mentors “How Bad Do You Want It?” Rick and I first connected through our Surf Ministry called Water at The Rock Church in San Diego, CA. As the leader of our Men’s Group, I could go on and on about his character, heart for people and humility, but I will go with humility to introduce him. You see Rick has some credibility to lead a group of surfers because he is a USA Surf Team Rider. Yup, Rick’ is a humble guy, so I will brag on him a bit. In 2012, he had a perfect season, winning every contest in NSSA, including Westerns and Nationals. In 2016, he won 1st place in 10 National Finals! He is also sponsored by a slew of companies like Rusty Surf Board, Oakley and Dakine, just to name a few. All this to say, he is the best surfer I know and a Top Level Competitor!

    rusty_team_rick_takahashi

    Rick told me, “Jay, I just want it more than the next guy. I push for that extra mile in training and I do more! There are a lot of surfers that are more talented than me, but I know I just have to be better than the next guy for a few critical moments.”

    As a sales coach with Southwestern Consulting, I love to see the parallels one can draw from professional sports like Surfing to things like business success and sales.

    Three Keys I learned from Rick:

    Be Disciplined and Keep Good Focus! – Have specific goals and create a solid routine around that. Know that there will need to be a sacrifice! And if you can see the prize you will pay the price. Know what it takes to win! What are you going to give up to reach your goal? So many people want to do well, yet they are not willing to give up their free time. They still want to sleep in or just be comfortable. Many times you only have to sacrifice for a specific amount of time, like a season. Know when to push, because it pays to win.

    Hustle! – Train/study harder than the next guy! Have a healthy sense of competition because it’s real. In anything you do, if you’re not going to get after it, someone else is! Don’t compare yourself, but be a competitor. Note- it’s not just winning but how you win. Be Dominant!!

    The big one…

    USE YOUR BRAIN! – Hustle with your mind, not just your body. This is what it really means to be a student of the game. Don’t just study to study. Learn and study to have a competitive advantage. Have a winning strategy. Know how to play the game, know the rules and find out the best ways to win!

    Using your brain helps to take some of the emotion out of the equation. Don’t just react to the situation or event that is occurring. Slow down and think…what can I do better here? What can I control? What did I learn? What can I do differently?

    How many times do we go around in circles wanting to win or do better or overcome a challenge but never seem to gain any ground? Rick said so many surfers just do the same thing, they use the same board every time and they get the same results. He said, “I am constantly thinking… What is the best board to use? Why? Can I surf that spot ahead of time? What do I need to look for in the conditions? What tweaks do I need to make to have a competitive advantage? Etc.”

    Let me encourage all of you, use your most powerful advantage… Your Brain!!

     

    Jay Wang started selling with The Southwestern Company while in college. He was in the top 1% of sales producers and was able to sell, recruit and manage teams in order to pay his own way though school. After graduating with a degree in Business Management, he transitioned to managing multi-million dollar commercial real estate properties, achieving record-breaking occupancies. Since 2011, Jay has been traveling the country as a professional sales trainer and Partner with Southwestern Consulting.


  • The Habits Triangle and the 3 Elements of Ultra-Performers

    Guest Post by: Rory Vaden

    Southwestern-Consulting-Habits-Triangle-Methodology

    Do you know anyone who is super smart and intelligent but not very successful?

    Do you know someone who doesn’t seem all that smart and yet they are incredibly successful?

    Do you know someone who is very motivated and they try really hard but they can never quite seem to make it?

    Do you know someone who has all the ingredients to be a top performer but they are a disorganized, chaotic mess?

    If you answered “yes” to any of these questions then you will understand why and how over the past 165 years, The Southwestern Family of Companies and Southwestern Consulting, has developed our methodology – something we refer to as “The Habits Triangle.”

    We’ve come to realize that there are three interrelated components that must work synergistically together for someone to become an Ultra-Performer.

    You cannot truly become an Ultra-Performer without developing mastery in these 3 areas of your business:

    1. Skills – The technical ability and knowledge to complete professional functions or tasks.

    For a salesperson these are the skills of prospecting, closing, answering objections, and gathering referrals just to name a few. For a professional speaker these are the skills of using vocal variety, storytelling, using the stage, and understanding the psychology of laughter. For a leader this includes things like creating vision, delivering appropriate recognition, recruiting, inspiring, training, and understanding and managing financials. For a marketer this includes things like branding, copyrighting, SEO, and knowing how to use social media.

    No matter what your profession is or what goal you are pursuing, there will be a set of knowledge that you will have to learn and a set of tactical Skills that you will need to master in order to perform at the highest level. Even if someone has the other 2 elements of The Habits Triangle, without the technical Skills they will be what Zig Ziglar used to call “a motivated idiot.”

    1. Self-Motivation – This area includes the more intrinsic elements of an individual’s personal character and emotional preparation. 

    Coaching someone on building their self-motivation includes educating them and strengthening them in things like: attitude, positive self- talk, persistence, managing fear, integrity, creating a personal vision, and in finding their emotional purpose.

    Even if a person has incredible Skills and strong Systems, if they don’t have any Self-motivation then they are simply what Calvin Coolidge called an “educated derelict.”

    1. Systems – These are the mechanisms that are in place that help a team or individual stay organized and efficient in completing the strategic operations of the organization.

    For an individual this includes anything related to how they manage their time, how they manage their finances, how they keep up with paperwork, and how they stay organized.

    For an organization this almost always includes any element of technology such as: accounting and payroll systems, CRM, their online social media and content marketing strategy, order fulfillment, procurement, etc.

    A person or team who has strong Self-motivation and expert Skills but weak Systems becomes a frantic, disorganized, chaotic mess. They are what I once heard David Allen refer to as a “crazy-maker.”

    Show me a broken business or an underperforming individual and I guarantee I will show you a breakdown in at least one of the three areas of The Habits Triangle: Skills, Self-Motivation, or Systems.

    At the center of The Habit Triangle is of course “Habits”. That is because it is not good enough to merely have strong Skills, Self-motivation, and Systems; but we must have the positive habits that enforce using them over and over.

    At the center of the triangle is where it all comes together. It is developing the self-discipline to do the things we know we should be doing each and every day until they eventually become Habits. Or as we at Southwestern say, “success is never owned; it is only rented – and the rent is due every day.“ We’ve found that most people have a much higher likelihood of developing positive Habits if they have accountability (notice the ring around the outside of the triangle) which is why our core service offering at Southwestern Consulting is 1 on 1 coaching.

    If you’ve ever wondered why I am often referred to as a “Self-discipline Strategist” now you know. It’s because I’ve dedicated my life to helping provide insights and inspiration to help people do the things they know they should be doing even when they don’t feel like doing them – so that those tasks would eventually become habits and success becomes inevitable for them over time.

    If you’ve followed my podcast or my blog here and ever felt like some of the topics were disjointed; now you will be able to see easily how they all fit together.

    Our first book, Take the Stairs, was all about self-discipline and Self-motivation.

    Our recent book, Procrastinate on Purpose, was all about Systems.

    Any guesses as to what our next book will probably be about?

     

    Self-Discipline Strategist Rory Vaden’s book Take the Stairs is a #1 Wall St Journal, #1 USA Today, and #2 New York Times bestseller. As an award-winning entrepreneur and business leader, Rory Co-Founded Southwestern Consulting™, a multi-million dollar global consulting practice that helps clients in more than 27 countries drive educated decisions with relevant data. 

    Additionally, as the founder of the Center for the Study of Self-Discipline (CSSD), his insights on improving self-discipline, overcoming procrastination and enhancing productivity have been featured on Fox and Friends, Oprah radio, CNN and in Fast Company, Forbes, Inc and Success Magazine. 


  • Being Present In the Moment

    Guest Post By: Dustin Hillis

    Recently a man was taking a picture with his smart phone and backed off the ledge of a cliff and died. Being present in the moment can be the difference between life and death. Being present in the moment can be the difference between staying married or getting a divorce. Being present in the moment can be the difference between your child growing up feeling loved or alone. Being present in the moment can be the difference between winning someone’s business or losing the deal.

    The greatest gift you can give someone is your attention.

    When was the last time when you were in a room and everyone was engrossed in their cell phones and not paying attention to their surroundings? Can you recall the last conversation when the person you were talking with was looking over your shoulder and not making eye contact with you and you could tell they were listening to less than half of the things you were saying? When was the last time you were barely engaged in a conversation? Of even worse, you only focused on looking good by trying to impress the other person by talking about yourself, and not caring to ask the other person questions about themselves, resulting in a balanced conversation. People who are more focused on being interesting versus being interested will always have a difficult time fostering authentic relationships.

    3 Levels of Not Paying Attention

    Level 1. Attention Deficit

    There are a large number of people in this world who are naturally wired to be on the go and cannot sit still long enough to ask questions and listen. While this might be a gift or a curse that God has given you, it’s still not an excuse not to be present in the moment. Some individuals with extreme cases end up taking medication for ADD. After being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), I was prescribed medication which caused me to experience hyperfocus. It also caused me to also experience negative side effects that caused me to stop taking the drugs. I found that after years of practice I could control my ADD and hyperfocus when I put myself in the right environment with no medication.

    Level 2. Addicted to Technology

    Smart phones are making us stupid. The world is addicted to their phones. A large number of people are spending a majority of their time on their smart phones. Between Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, blogs and email, everyone is living a virtual reality versus living in real time. The most interesting man in the world (in my favorite Dos Equis beer commercial) says “I live vicariously through myself.” Life is beautiful. All we need to do is put down the technology and pay attention and see the real time Instagram-worthy things all around us.

    Level 3. Consumed with Oneself

    When someone is so consumed with himself or herself that they don’t care about other people, they enter another level of not being present in the moment. Think of the last time you went to a dinner or had a meeting with someone and at the end of the time together you knew everything about them and they knew nothing about you? Do you have friends who don’t really know anything about you? Are they really your friend? If someone is so consumed with how awesome they are, it will be difficult for them to be present in the moment and have a genuine conversation with you.

    Now that we’ve identified the 3 levels of not paying attention, let’s discuss how to be present in the moment.

    The first step in being present in the moment is to slow down and take a deep breath. Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Who always wins in Aesop’s Fable The Tortoise and the Hare? The tortoise wins every time! Pay attention to your breathing. By simply taking a few deep breaths, you will slow your heart rate down and you’ll be able to be more present. Just by simply slowing down, you will start noticing things that are beautiful all around you that you may have never noticed before. I love how my 4-year-old daughter, Haven, always notices any flowers and makes us stop and look at them and smell them. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

    After you’ve learned how to slow down, start working on being grateful. Every day either when you wake up or when you’re going to bed take out a piece of paper or a journal and write down 10 things that you are grateful for in your life that day. Throughout the day, pray or affirm your gratitude for all of the little things in life. When good things happen to you, don’t get over excited and when bad things happen to you, don’t get overly upset. Always stay even keeled in your emotions and grounded in thankfulness and gratitude. Just be thankful to be alive and healthy every single day. Everything else is just a bonus!

    Get a better routine. Wake up and go workout, read some affirmations, eat breakfast and then maybe check your email for 30 minutes and then put it away. Then have a scheduled time in the middle of the day to check email and technology, then one more time at the end of the day. Checking email 3 times per day and social media one time per day should be enough! We do not need to be consumed by our social media all day long. Our relationships are suffering if we are addicted to our devices.

    Finally, get over yourself. No one cares how awesome you are. Emotional midgets are the ones who care so much about what others think about them that they only want to talk about themselves. We need to honestly care about other people, ask questions and listen. We need to empathize with other people’s pains and struggles. Focus on maintaining eye contact, look for the non-verbal communication to make sure that what they are telling you is the whole story or, if you need to, keep asking more questions to get them to really open up and tell you what is really going on.

    At the end of the day, we are all called to love one another. There is no way we can show love if we are too busy being busy and consumed with our own selfish human nature. This has been and will continue to be a struggle of mine. Hopefully, you will join me in the pursuit of loving other people and being present in the moment.

     

    Dustin Hillis is the Co-founder of Southwestern Consulting. He is an expert in understanding buying, selling and management behavior styles and how to identify them and adapt to people the way they want to be communicated with. He also specializes in writing efficient and effective Customized Sales Scripts/Word Tracks. Mr Hillis consults companies on creating Compensation Plans, Recruiting Systems and Sales Strategies. Dustin is the author of the book Navigate: The Art of Not Thinking and co-author of Speaking of Success along with Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield


  • Is Your Auto-Pilot Programmed for Success? 

    Guest Post By: Jay Jones

    Have you ever wondered why we as human beings think and act the way that we do? Often times we unconsciously do things that we know are not in our best interest. We often say to ourselves, “If only I were more disciplined to do the things that I need to do…”  Unfortunately, most people do not realize that they are in subconscious auto-pilot mode most of the time.

    If you were about to fly a plane to New York and learned that the auto-pilot was programmed for the wrong destination, what would you do?  If you wanted to get to New York, you would only have 2 options.

    1. Manually fly the plane to New York the entire journey, or

    2. Reprogram the auto-pilot

    pov_1

    Using this analogy and applying it to our lives we are better able to understand how we are to get to our goals and dreams in life.  We can either stay in a state of conscious awareness all of the time and always make conscious choices and decisions about everything that we do (extremely difficult to do) or we can take on the task of reprogramming our internal auto-pilot on a daily basis.  There are major benefits to becoming unconsciously competent in the areas important to our success in life.  Success is much easier when we are doing the right things without having to think about them all of the time.

    Understanding how your subconscious works:

    Everything that you have ever experienced through your 5 senses has been recorded into your subconscious mind.  Those experiences and your emotional responses to them throughout your life dictate your internal auto-pilot. They determine your fight or flight responses to everything you experience in the present.  Often we have programming that we do not even recognize that controls our motivations and desires.  To many people, the thought of having to overcome all of the negative thoughts and programming from the past seems very daunting.  Fortunately, the power of positive affirmations spoken aloud daily has more power over the subconscious in the present than most past memories.

    Writing new programming:

    It is exciting to know that no matter what you have been programmed to believe and therefore feel, you have the power to re-write that programming.  You have the power to change your future destination in life! The first step in this process is to decide what it is that you want to believe about yourself and your relationship to the world around you.  If you want to believe that you enjoy eating healthy and exercising, then you are going to have to affirm that every day if you want to eventually believe it.  If you want to be a person of tremendous faith, then you had better affirm that every day as well.  Whatever it is that you want to have, be or do, you must affirm it to yourself aloud daily.  You must also write your affirmations in the present tense.  Here are a few examples of positive affirmations:

    I feel happy, healthy and terrific!

    I have an amazing and abundant life!

    Every day I am growing more successful in everything that I do!

    I am loved and respected by others!

    I manage my time wisely and make time for all of the projects that I have committed myself to!

    I am passionate about serving others and being an example of success to everyone around me!

    I set big goals and I achieve them!

    I have 2 pages of personal affirmations on the wall by my desk that I read every morning during the week. I can speak from personal experience that without making a conscious decision about what I believe about myself, my thoughts would be slave to the world around me.  The time has come for you to take back control of your life and your thoughts from the world.  Decide what you want to believe, decide what you want to achieve and make the commitment for life to do the mental conditioning work to make it happen!

     

    Jay Jones is an expert in lead generation and business development. He has worked extensively in the mortgage, real estate, insurance, telecommunications, healthcare and financial services industries. Jay is a dynamic speaker and regularly speaks for company and industry events.


  • Being Positive vs. Positive Self-Talk

    Guest Post By: Dustin Hillis

    The wealthiest man I know once told me the key to success is having amazing self-talk. I remember feeling disappointed when receiving this advice over a nice dinner. What a conundrum that I’m getting advice from the a man who was featured in Forbes Magazine as one of the most successful people alive and I’m having a negative response to advice about positive self-talk.

    I decided to investigate further what he meant by “you have to have amazing self-talk”. He went on to explain that self-talk is defined as what you say about yourself to yourself, and what you allow others to say about you that you believe. Then it hit me, my whole life I thought being positive is what having positive self-talk was all about. But after my conversation with Spencer, I realized that my self-talk had nothing to do with being a positive person. It had everything to do with looking in the mirror and honestly saying what I think about myself.

    Most people have the wrong idea around what self-talk is all about. Most people, myself included before this dinner, consider being a positive person as what it means to have positive self-talk. I think of a funny Saturday Night Live skit like this one when I hear motivational speakers talk about having a positive attitude and living in a van down by the river.

    Your self-talk is the most important thing in your life. The core of your self-talk is your belief system. Your beliefs construct your attitudes. Your attitudes determine your actions. Your actions come from your feelings. Your feelings come from your self-talk. If someone stuck a recorder inside your brain over the past 24 hours, I’m willing to bet the things you tell yourself about yourself would be scary. Most people spend their entire lives telling themselves what they can and cannot do. And as Henry Ford said “whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right.”

    Your self-image is directly tied to your self-talk. When you look in the mirror, do you see someone who is fat, ugly, dumb, a failure, a bad husband, a lousy father, a victim, a martyr, a jerk, a nag, a mediocre worker…Or do you see someone who is fit, sexy, smart, a winner, the world’s best husband and father, someone who will go over, under, around or straight right though any obstacle in their way!?

    In 1st grade, I flunked phonics, then in 2nd grade I flunked spelling, then I proceeded for the rest of my schooling to make F’s in any subject that had to do with reading and writing.  I developed a very real self-talk issue around the topic of reading and writing. I would say things like “can someone else read instead of me, I’m good at other things and not good at reading.”  One day a sales manager at the Southwestern Company challenged me when he said, “You know as long as you keep saying you aren’t good at reading, you never will be.”  I went home that night and made a decision that I would never again say anything about being less proficient at reading and writing.  Instead, I would say things positive about reading and writing.

    I created “Positive Affirmations” around reading and writing, and I started saying them everyday.  My affirmations included “I am a wordsmith”, “I am an author”, “I am an avid reader”, “My lexicon is vast”, and “I am the world’s best Scrabble player”.  After a few months of saying these “Positive Affirmations”, I found myself picking up a book and started reading every day. Additionally, I opened up a Word document and started writing every week. More than 14 years later, I’ve read over 100 books and am the author of several books.

    As humans, we are programmed to think a certain way, whether we like it or not. Either you choose to give up control of your own programming and let the media, society or your friends and family program you with what you believe about yourself and the world…or… you take control of your self-talk and start programming yourself with the things you want to believe about yourself and the world. If you want to take control of your self-talk, the most impactful exercise you can possibly do is to take out a piece of paper and write out a minimum of 10 positive affirmation and then make copies of your affirmations and carry them with you, post them on your walls, share them with other people and, most importantly, say them to yourself out loud every day.

    Here are some of my personal affirmations: 

    • God gives me all strength, courage and confidence… and with God anything is possible.
    • I always communicate with confidence, unwavering Relentless Truth.
    • I always put God first, Kyah second, Haven third, friends fourth, work fifth, and myself sixth regarding how I make decisions.
    • I am an athlete. I am consistent with working out at least 3 times per week and walk with Kyah 2 times per week, and eating a Paleo diet.
    • I raise the belief, energy and confidence level of every single person I interact with.
    • I empathize with others’ struggles, pains and regrets and help them embrace truth, forgiveness, mercy and love through God.
    • Most of all, my life mission and what God has called me to do is help others reach their God-given potential every day

     

    Dustin Hillis is the Co-founder of Southwestern Consulting. He is an expert in understanding buying, selling and management behavior styles and how to identify them and adapt to people the way they want to be communicated with. He also specializes in writing efficient and effective Customized Sales Scripts/Word Tracks. Mr Hillis consults companies on creating Compensation Plans, Recruiting Systems and Sales Strategies. Dustin is the author of the book Navigate: The Art of Not Thinking and co-author of Speaking of Success along with Stephen Covey, Ken Blanchard and Jack Canfield


  • Do limits prevent you from being an Ultra performer?

    You are the person who sets limits on yourself.

    You decide what is possible and what isn’t possible for your life.

    And most of the time we allow our boundaries for the future to be defined by the accomplishments of our past.

    We project our “best ever” into the future as the limiter of what is possible.

    Ultra performers don’t do that.

    Ultra performers do not allow their creativity to be used in a way that sets limits. And they don’t base what is realistic or what is possible on what others have done.

    They instead unleash their creativity in the positive direction by simply presenting the challenge, the goal, or the problem that needs solving to their mind and then allowing their mind to break it apart to find new answers, new solutions, and new paths.

    Ultra performers know that their mind is happy to achieve whatever their mind is set to.

    >> Continue reading on Rory Vaden’s blog <<


  • How to embrace failure

    By Dustin Hillis

    Most of my life I’ve wasted exorbitant amounts of energy trying to overcome my failures and manage my brokenness. I have fled from my failures, tried to hide my mistakes and put on a fake smile to mask my pain and regrets.

    In the book The Furious Longing of God, Brennan Manning provides keen insight into how God’s mercy is shown by Him not allowing us to fully see the depth of our brokenness, as we wouldn’t be able to handle it. The more I endure life’s battles, the more it has become apparent that success has nothing to do with overcoming failures. God has called us to embrace our failures.

    Failure is inevitable. If you haven’t experienced a multitude of failures in your life, it’s probably a result from an even more significant quandary of playing the game of life too safe, not taking chances, not putting your heart and soul into your passions in life, or denial.

    Chances are you have experienced failure and then felt shame or embarrassment about it. Perhaps you went into problem-solving mode to overcome and/or manage your failure so you could be proud of the fact that you are self-sufficient and overcame your weaknesses. Does this sound familiar?

    >> Continue reading on Dustin’s blog here <<


  • Rory Vaden TedX Talk: How to Multiply Time

    Everything you know about time-management is wrong. In this challenging and counter-intuitive video, Self-Discipline Strategist and New York Times bestselling author Rory Vaden, shows you why you can’t solve today’s time-management challenges with yesterday’s time-management strategies. More importantly he explains why procrastinating on purpose is the key to being able to Multiply your time.

    Self-Discipline Strategist Rory Vaden’s book Take the Stairs is a #1 Wall St Journal and #2 New York Times bestseller. Rory is also Co-Founder of Southwestern Consulting™, an 8-figure global consulting practice. His new book Procrastinate On Purpose: 5 Permissions to Multiply Your Time came out in January of 2015 and was an instant National Bestseller. Free 1 hour webinar on multiplying time at http://www.ProcrastinateOnPurpose.com .

    Rory Vaden TedX Talk: How to Multiple Time


  • Servant Selling: How to answer objections without feeling pushy

    Guest post by: Rory Vaden

    Most people have fear about making change.

    Which is another reason why prospects need a sales professional.

    They need us not only for the purpose of giving them expert information about the product or service they are considering…

    They need our assistance in helping them develop the courage to make a change!

    You may have not have ever thought of your role in that way, but that is how Servant Sellers think. They realize that sales is less about convincing a stranger and more about helping a friend develop confidence.

    There are several decisions that need to be made by a prospect before they can buy.

    Of course they need to decide they like the offer but that’s not it. They also need to decide that they’re actually willing to take the risk of making a change. As the sales professional you have to be equipped to serve both of those needs for them.

    [CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING]


  • The simple truth of the world’s wealthiest people

    Guest post by: Rory Vaden

    I continue to be under-impressed and underwhelmed at the brilliance of rich people.

    Growing up without money I just always convinced myself that they must know something I don’t. They must have something I don’t. They must be something I’m not.

    Not really.

    Wealthy people are simple.

    In fact it’s their simplicity that makes them wealthy.

    Most of us overthink, overreact and overcomplicate.

    What do wealthy people do?

    They just do.

    They don’t worry about what they can’t do; they focus on what they can do.

    They don’t worry about if it will work; they try it and find out.

    Wealthy people don’t waste time trying to find the perfect time, the perfect plan, or the perfect circumstance.

    They just act.

    They do.

    –> Click here to continue reading.