Guest Post By: Gary Michels
I was in a pretty intense conversation once with one of my clients. We spoke about having to let some people go within his organization. My client kept saying he did not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, yet at the same time, he wanted to be true to himself, not only through his words but his actions. He felt that as the leader of the company, it was time to make and follow through on some decisions.
It seems that often we spend too much time worrying about being polite. When we do this, we hold back our heartfelt ideas and beliefs. We feel afraid that someone’s feelings might get hurt if we speak truthfully, either to them or about them.
However, do you think it is possible to be honest without being rude or mean? Is it possible to be truthful in a kind, loving and sincere way? I believe it is, otherwise, how will we communicate to others and let them know who we are? How can others let us know who they truly are? Unless we speak the truth, no idea will be challenged and no good ideas will be shared.
Censoring thoughts and ideas will cut you off emotionally from others. In a way, when you censor yourself it is as if there is an invisible force that is serving to hold you in check. We all need to dig deep and find ways to avoid stifling our genuine thoughts and ideas. Everyone has the capability to express themselves in a kind, loving, and methodical way. One that is not hurtful. At times, we must make sure to use extra thought and take care to make sure you are using the best words and tone to say what you want to say. You also need to make sure you are saying them at the right time. You know the old saying, “timing is everything”. Often, I will ask someone a question in this way: “do I have the permission to share with you what I am thinking and what is in my head and heart, and do it in a safe environment with you”? I find that most times, the person I am speaking with will answer “yes” and be thankful that I was honest and open with them.
I live by the creed that if one tells the truth and someone turns away from you because of it, that person was probably not truly a close of friend or acquaintance anyway.
I feel there are two things you can do in your life that really set you free; to tell the truth and live with the truth, even should it hurt. Also, when you screw up, a good, old-fashioned sincere apology will give you a burst of energy and freshness. This will enable you to move forward with peace and success.
You can’t “Turn It Up a Notch” if something is holding you back and keeping you stuck in the neutral position!! Holding back the truth is often one of the biggest things preventing “breakthrough” success. I urge you to speak with honestly but to do so with love in your heart.
Sell with truth and integrity and you will be successful!
Gary Michels is a co-founder of Southwestern Consulting. He is a keynote speaker, sales trainer and business consultant and has motivated nearly 1,000,000 people to achieve their highest potential nationwide. Gary spent 19 successful years as a sales representative for a national fund-raising company.